This is what my driveway looked like all this week, until this morning when it was washed away by the rain.
There are some moments in my life when I feel like a "real" mother, whatever that even means. I think it's similar to the way that I will probably perpetually feel 12 years old inside my own head, regardless of how old my body gets. The fact that I'm a mama is just surreal to me most days. Surely I'm still just a child myself?
Anyway, I felt like a "real" mother when the neighbor girl came over and played with Bee in the front yard while I was inside with the baby on my hip cooking dinner. Then this morning I was standing at the washing machine rubbing stain remover onto the knee of a pair of grass-stained pants. It doesn't get more mom-like than that. Maybe it hits me that I'm a mom when I most resemble a mom in a tv commercial.
And that is sort of ironic, because when I am playing with my kids, when I am really acting 12 years old, down on the floor making funny faces and swinging my legs every which way and doing the goofiest things I can just to get a laugh, I believe those are the moments I'm more mama than any other time.