Sure, I was needed before I became a mama. Everyone is. But the way a mama is needed just really takes my breath away. I knew this about my own mom. I've always needed her and wanted her. But being the one who is in the mama role is very different.
Here is a picture that perfectly captures how my kids need me:
It's obvious that Goose is reaching for me, but also notice the jeans and red shirt wearing boy who is sitting on my foot and clinging to my leg.
It's an interesting thing. They are relentless in their need for me. I find it both fulfilling and tiring. I suppose you could say that it both fills me and empties me. Yes, my kids take a lot of my time and energy and space in my brain. But what I get back is so much bigger, so much more meaningful. Intense is a good word to describe both sides of this coin.
At some point during most days, there are a couple moments when I think it would be nice to have some breathing room.
Then the end of the day comes, both kids are sleeping, and I do get that space. After about an hour, without fail, I wish the kids were up and that we could be together. (Of course I don't actually want them to wake up because then I'd have to get them back to sleep. Getting kids to sleep is hard!)
But it's funny what just a tiny bit of distance can do.